Sure, corporate big boxers like Amazon may totally destroy our lives and the planet, but they will also make sure supply of this googly-eyed icon meets demand this holiday season.Chaldean Numerology: Meaning and personality traits This may be the one and only time I applaud the relentless momentum of capitalism. Luckily though, you can still find the toy through third-party sellers on Amazon. The manufacturer told Newsweek in July that it was not aware of customer concerns, according to the outlet. "Certainly, the producer would not be allowed to use the song for this purpose,” said the rep, who is clearly a joykill. It is a complete surprise for us,” a rep for the rapper told the First News, a Polish news outlet. For its part, Walmart Canada said that it will remove the toy from its site while it looks into Tanner’s complaint, CTV reported.ĭoes no one see that all this apropos gift item needs is a little rebranding? Just rename it, “Coke-craving Cactus Dancer,” and let’s all put it on our adults-only list for Santa.Įven Cypis doesn’t want his lyrics used this way. Tanner told CTV that she wants a refund and for Walmart to stop selling the cactus. Sadly, this little anthropomorphic beacon of hope is leading to a lot of hub bub and, potentially, legal action. I respect the desire of this protective meemaw, but what about the rest of us? I just don't want anybody before Christmas to think this is a great toy and go online and have the same thing happen,” said Tanner. "This is not what I ordered for my granddaughter. "This toy uses swear words and talking about cocaine use," Ania Tanner told CTV News Toronto. Unfortunately, Walmart fails to see the uniquely postmodern humor in all of this and is removing the toy from their e-tail site after a Canadian grandmother complained. Who among us has not been forced to smile through that despair and dance - on Zoom, no less - through our pain? This perversely ironic stuffed and prickly chanteuse sings for all of us. I ask you: Who among us has not felt this intense despair? “The only thing in my head/Is five grams of cocaine/Fly away alone/To the edge of oblivion/I have thoughts in my head/When will all this end/Whenever I'm not alone/Because a white eel will fly in,” Cypis croons in the song. These uptight squares are clearly missing the point of the cactus song’s extremely relatable lyrics. “Who the hell advertises as a toy for children that plays songs about cocaine?!?!?” asked another Amazon user. And the other is a Polish song about cocaine,” wrote an irate Amazon reviewer who said they were sending the toy back.
“It should be stated CLEARLY in the description that there are three songs. There was a little bit of internet scandal about this sassy Saguaro over the summer after the toy was sold as a children’s toy in markets across Taiwan and was released on Amazon.
The title translates to, “Where is the white eel?” in English, which is appropriate for children in exactly zero ways. None of the marketing mentioned that one of the songs the cactus sings is, “Gdzie jest biały węgorz?” a rap by Polish artist Cypis.
When it was released this summer by a Chinese manufacturer called Emoin, it was marketed as such. The problem with this singing coke cactus is that it’s supposed to be an educational toy because it sings to children in multiple languages. Yes, at this point in the pandemipocalypse, even our toys are sad and craving a little drug-induced euphoria. At the press of a button, it does a succulent little sway and sings in Polish about how it’s depressed and wants blow. What can possibly convey convivial holiday cheer while still acknowledging the major depressive episode we are collectively surviving? Well, this dancing cactus doll is certainly trying. There is an art to finding the right gift for someone you care about, especially in these trying times.
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